The Year of Learning my Limits: What if less is more?
My birthday is tomorrow, which always causes me to reflect on the last year. The theme I can’t get away from is decrease/less/limits.
We live in a world that loves more, better, and higher… but what if less is what allows us to fully receive and appreciate the more?
Nothing is the same as it was last August.
Every area of my life has been touched by decrease this past trip around the sun.
I’ve learned my physical limits - last year I canceled most trips because I was tired. It just felt like the right thing to do. I honestly haven’t had much desire to travel recently.
I’ve learned my financial limits - I’ve had to be more conscious of my spending since I was laid off in January. I’m very aware of what I want to prioritize and what no longer matters.
I’ve learned my mental limits - I didn’t realize I was dealing with some burnout until after I left my job. I needed time and space to rest my mind. I start each week with counseling and it has been the best gift to get (and keep) my mind on the right track.
I’ve learned my spiritual limits - I knew I had so much room to grow in my faith, but this year has forced me to practice that growth in new ways.
I’m a deeply limited being in a deeply limited body and that’s not a bad thing. Learning my limits created space for me to BE STILL and REST. Things I desperately needed.
I’ve learned how much I want to live each day with my full heart and full attention (for the good and the bad moments). I want to be fully present for the people and places in my life.
I was reminded of how important that is while watching one of my new favorite shows, Getting Lost. The host, Erin French, perfectly summed up the beauty of limits. The demand for her restaurant is well beyond the capacity, but she has intentionally chosen to keep it small. She wants to limit the growth because she wants to provide an excellent experience. That’s the kind of life I want to live. One that intentionally grows in ways that matter and not just because of an outside demand.
While watching tv this quote at the end of Getting Lost touched me. Farmers and people who rely on seasonal goods are well aware of the power of limits. I may or may not have ended the show in tears.
The biggest surprise? Practicing decrease created space for me to connect with others in new ways. I’m more aware of my emotional needs. The conversations I’m having are better, my relationships feel closer, and I feel more connected to life than I have in a long time. I’m learning that the life I want to live requires me to take care of my mind and body even better than I had been before.
Less time spent on work has allowed me to spend more time with my family and friends.
We are limited on purpose.
We aren’t meant to be everything to everyone all the time.
We are limited because we need each other. We need rest. We need space. Decreasing in every area of life allowed me to expand in ways I never imagined possible.
My word of the year is CREATE. I thought that meant I’d be doing art projects all year, but it actually meant I’d be creating space in my life.
What’s the scary thing about creating space? You have to live with empty places in your life. You have to make room and leave a gap before you ever know what (if anything) will fill the void. Sometimes something new comes along to replace what you gave up and other times you learn to grow around the space.
No matter what - you are forced to change. And that change is hard, messy, and beautiful.
Having a smaller life has been the greatest gift. It showed me ways I was flowing through life without stopping to really enjoy each day. It taught me the art of practicing presence.